Reaching Out to Fathers

By Kevin O'Shea

Several years ago, as I was walking down the hallway at my kindergartner’s school after serving as the center helper that morning, I saw a man dressed in a business suit and holding a child’s lunch bag wandering around, looking confused. I asked if he needed help. He told me that his daughter had forgotten her lunch, and he didn’t know the way to her classroom or her teacher’s name. He did know what grade she was in, so it was a simple matter to get him pointed in the right direction. This occurred in a school that won a national award for parent involvement and boasts that almost every father attends parent-teacher conferences twice a year.

We’re all familiar with the many benefits of getting parents involved in their children’s education. That’s the driving purpose behind PTA and other parent organizations. But national surveys indicate that nearly half of fathers in traditional two-parent families are not involved in any school-related activities. Even when fathers are involved at school, they participate at a rate half that of their spouses. For nonresident fathers, the figure for noninvolvement soars to almost 70 percent. Father involvement at school decreases dramatically as their children move from elementary to middle and high school. That’s a shame, because father involvement can be a powerful factor in the success of both students and schools.

Dads matter
The 1996 National Household Education Survey produced the first national data on the effect of father involvement at school. Based on telephone interviews with both resident and nonresident parents of 20,700 students in kindergarten through 12th grade and interviews with middle- and high-school-age children, the survey found that both resident and nonresident fathers who were involved in their children’s schools provided significant educational advantages to their children. For example, students with involved fathers did better in school, enjoyed school more, participated in more extracurricular activities, and experienced fewer disciplinary problems. Those students also were more likely to become involved in community service and to attend college. Significantly, these advantages were not realized when only their mothers participated in school activities (see sidebar, "Statistics Confirm the Positive Power of Father Involvement at School").

In October 1997, the United States Department of Education produced a report based in part on the survey findings and concluded that "maternal involvement is beneficial for the social and emotional adjustment of children to school, particularly young children, but…paternal involvement may be the most important for academic achievement." These findings were confirmed in a 2005 study of 1,334 families reported in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. That study found "a significant relationship between aspects of father involvement in their children’s education and student achievement beyond that accounted for by mother involvement."

PTA’s role in involving fathers
PTAs can play a vital role in getting more fathers involved at school. Getting more fathers involved at school can be easier if PTA leaders understand some of the reasons fathers generally are absent. Betsy Peterson of the West Virginia Department of Education has studied some of the barriers fathers may face in becoming involved at their children’s schools. "Schools don’t always welcome dads," she says, "and parent groups are often skewed toward mothers." She also points out that "[m]any fathers work and are unable to attend school functions during the day [and] many fathers don’t know what to do in a school setting."

While becoming directly involved in PTA is unrealistic for many fathers, they shouldn’t be excluded from the process of seeking chairpersons, committee members, and other volunteers. Even if there are no fathers involved in PTA, every school can take some simple steps to boost father involvement:

• Create a welcoming atmosphere for fathers. Refer to parents (not just mothers) in communications home, encourage staff to introduce themselves to fathers who come to school, and invite fathers into the building rather than simply hope they’ll show up.
• Make it easy for dads to come to school. Schedule events far in advance (at the start of the school year, if possible) and give dads plenty of notice. Explain, for example, the Fun Run and why it’s important for fathers to make an effort to attend.
• Host special events just for dads. They’ll feel special, and they’ll have the chance to meet some other fathers, too (see sidebar, "For Dads Only").
• Start and end on time. Many fathers have to get back to work at a particular time. If events start and end late, many fathers will become discouraged and won’t return.
• Let dads help outside of regular school hours. Some fathers simply can’t make it into the building, so offer involvement opportunities on evenings and weekends, such as building shelves for the library or buying some of the supplies for Family Fun Night. Some dads can be a big help with fundraising, too.

One of the benefits of a PTA effort to help fathers get more involved is that many of the changes you make will be a big help to working mothers as well.

Handling the bumps
Helping fathers become more involved at your school can be an incredibly rewarding experience. But don’t make the mistake of expecting the process to be without any bumps. Any change is bound to encounter some combination of outright resistance and unanticipated challenges. Some of the most common problems involve objections to singling out fathers for what some see as special treatment ("We don’t have a special day for mothers to eat lunch with their children."), to concerns for the feelings of children whose fathers can’t attend a special event ("Jordan’s dad travels and can’t be here. How will she feel?"), to a simple clash of gender cultures when mothers see fathers as pushy and opinionated (see sidebar, "The White Knight Syndrome").

The best way to handle these issues is to go slowly and make sure that everyone’s point of view is heard. Remember that every school has its own culture. While you shouldn’t try to please everyone, those who object to change often have valid concerns that can and should be addressed in any effort to help fathers get more involved.

Don’t expect dramatic change overnight. It will take a lot of time, effort, and patience to create a school culture that expects father involvement. But the rewards will last a lifetime for countless children and their families.

Kevin O’Shea is the founder of Partnership for Dads (www.partnershipfordads.org), a nonprofit group that works with existing organizations to help fathers become more involved parents. He is also a popular speaker on parenting topics, a parent coach, and the co-author of The Fatherstyle Advantage: Surefire Techniques Every Parent Can Use to Raise Confident and Caring Kids (Stewart, Tabori & Chang, 2006).

Reaching Out to Fathers

By Kevin O'Shea

Several years ago, as I was walking down the hallway at my kindergartner’s school after serving as the center helper that morning, I saw a man dressed in a business suit and holding a child’s lunch bag wandering around, looking confused. I asked if he needed help. He told me that his daughter had forgotten her lunch, and he didn’t know the way to her classroom or her teacher’s name. He did know what grade she was in, so it was a simple matter to get him pointed in the right direction. This occurred in a school that won a national award for parent involvement and boasts that almost every father attends parent-teacher conferences twice a year.

We’re all familiar with the many benefits of getting parents involved in their children’s education. That’s the driving purpose behind PTA and other parent organizations. But national surveys indicate that nearly half of fathers in traditional two-parent families are not involved in any school-related activities. Even when fathers are involved at school, they participate at a rate half that of their spouses. For nonresident fathers, the figure for noninvolvement soars to almost 70 percent. Father involvement at school decreases dramatically as their children move from elementary to middle and high school. That’s a shame, because father involvement can be a powerful factor in the success of both students and schools.

Dads matter
The 1996 National Household Education Survey produced the first national data on the effect of father involvement at school. Based on telephone interviews with both resident and nonresident parents of 20,700 students in kindergarten through 12th grade and interviews with middle- and high-school-age children, the survey found that both resident and nonresident fathers who were involved in their children’s schools provided significant educational advantages to their children. For example, students with involved fathers did better in school, enjoyed school more, participated in more extracurricular activities, and experienced fewer disciplinary problems. Those students also were more likely to become involved in community service and to attend college. Significantly, these advantages were not realized when only their mothers participated in school activities (see sidebar, "Statistics Confirm the Positive Power of Father Involvement at School").

In October 1997, the United States Department of Education produced a report based in part on the survey findings and concluded that "maternal involvement is beneficial for the social and emotional adjustment of children to school, particularly young children, but…paternal involvement may be the most important for academic achievement." These findings were confirmed in a 2005 study of 1,334 families reported in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology. That study found "a significant relationship between aspects of father involvement in their children’s education and student achievement beyond that accounted for by mother involvement."

PTA’s role in involving fathers
PTAs can play a vital role in getting more fathers involved at school. Getting more fathers involved at school can be easier if PTA leaders understand some of the reasons fathers generally are absent. Betsy Peterson of the West Virginia Department of Education has studied some of the barriers fathers may face in becoming involved at their children’s schools. "Schools don’t always welcome dads," she says, "and parent groups are often skewed toward mothers." She also points out that "[m]any fathers work and are unable to attend school functions during the day [and] many fathers don’t know what to do in a school setting."

While becoming directly involved in PTA is unrealistic for many fathers, they shouldn’t be excluded from the process of seeking chairpersons, committee members, and other volunteers. Even if there are no fathers involved in PTA, every school can take some simple steps to boost father involvement:

• Create a welcoming atmosphere for fathers. Refer to parents (not just mothers) in communications home, encourage staff to introduce themselves to fathers who come to school, and invite fathers into the building rather than simply hope they’ll show up.
• Make it easy for dads to come to school. Schedule events far in advance (at the start of the school year, if possible) and give dads plenty of notice. Explain, for example, the Fun Run and why it’s important for fathers to make an effort to attend.
• Host special events just for dads. They’ll feel special, and they’ll have the chance to meet some other fathers, too (see sidebar, "For Dads Only").
• Start and end on time. Many fathers have to get back to work at a particular time. If events start and end late, many fathers will become discouraged and won’t return.
• Let dads help outside of regular school hours. Some fathers simply can’t make it into the building, so offer involvement opportunities on evenings and weekends, such as building shelves for the library or buying some of the supplies for Family Fun Night. Some dads can be a big help with fundraising, too.

One of the benefits of a PTA effort to help fathers get more involved is that many of the changes you make will be a big help to working mothers as well.

Handling the bumps
Helping fathers become more involved at your school can be an incredibly rewarding experience. But don’t make the mistake of expecting the process to be without any bumps. Any change is bound to encounter some combination of outright resistance and unanticipated challenges. Some of the most common problems involve objections to singling out fathers for what some see as special treatment ("We don’t have a special day for mothers to eat lunch with their children."), to concerns for the feelings of children whose fathers can’t attend a special event ("Jordan’s dad travels and can’t be here. How will she feel?"), to a simple clash of gender cultures when mothers see fathers as pushy and opinionated (see sidebar, "The White Knight Syndrome").

The best way to handle these issues is to go slowly and make sure that everyone’s point of view is heard. Remember that every school has its own culture. While you shouldn’t try to please everyone, those who object to change often have valid concerns that can and should be addressed in any effort to help fathers get more involved.

Don’t expect dramatic change overnight. It will take a lot of time, effort, and patience to create a school culture that expects father involvement. But the rewards will last a lifetime for countless children and their families.

Kevin O’Shea is the founder of Partnership for Dads (www.partnershipfordads.org), a nonprofit group that works with existing organizations to help fathers become more involved parents. He is also a popular speaker on parenting topics, a parent coach, and the co-author of The Fatherstyle Advantage: Surefire Techniques Every Parent Can Use to Raise Confident and Caring Kids (Stewart, Tabori & Chang, 2006).