Helping Children Cope with Those Startling Images from Iraq

By Joanne Cantor, Ph.D.

Those shocking images of prisoner abuse and intense violence coming out of Iraq pose a new and continuing challenge for both parents and teachers. When is it appropriate to share these images with children, and when is it better to shield them? When children are confronted with these pictures, either by choice or by chance, how can we help them deal with their feelings and foster a healthy understanding of what they mean? Research on the impact of the media on children's physical and mental health can provide some guidance.

First and foremost, caution is strongly recommended. Many children are sensitive to disturbing media images, and the consequences often include repeated nightmares and other sleep disturbances, generalized anxieties, and lingering feelings of discomfort when engaging activities that would not normally seem threatening. These effects can be hard to undo. As with many things, age is an important determinant of the types of effects to be expected and the best ways of dealing with them.

For young children, approximately preschool through second grade, grotesque visual images can be overwhelming. Those emotion-evoking pictures will have a more profound effect than any background information that puts the images in context. Shielding young children from exposure to these images, if possible, will certainly be preferable to dealing with the aftermath. If children do see these images, what you say will not be as important as your attention and warmth, and they will appreciate it if you find a way to involve them in some other activities, like reading a book together or playing creatively. Drawing a picture of what was frightening and making it look less scary is one way of dealing with fears at this age.

Older elementary school children may also be disturbed by these images, and they may have specific questions about the pictures of prisoner abuse. It's fair to answer those questions while keeping in mind the types of explanations they are likely to be seeking. For example, if children ask why the soldiers are smiling and surrounding naked prisoners, they will not benefit from the details of exactly what happened, and this is not the time to teach them about sexual abuse and humiliation. Saying the soldiers went too far by using "embarrassment" in trying to get the prisoners to talk may suffice. If a child is still troubled that such a thing could happen, you can explain that now that these activities have been discovered, we are working to make sure they don't happen again. Ultimately, children will be turning to you for reassurance and would rather hear words of hope than a worst-case scenario.

Teenagers are likely to be torn between feelings of anxiety and intense curiosity. They may be concerned about what the war means for themselves in terms of personal safety, and they may begin to be worried about the possibility that the draft will be reinstated. They will be seeking answers to the question of "why?" and will also be searching for solutions. Some of them may be curious about watching the video of the beheading of Nicholas Berg. They need to be cautioned that such images can be devastating and that their effect on the psyche will be long-lasting. It is a challenge to keep discussions of these events truthful and age-appropriate while not leaving children with intense anxieties. Acknowledging that these are difficult times, while placing the events in the historical context of other difficult times may help.

Above all, parents and teachers serve children best by ensuring that they learn about the world in age-appropriate ways and by being there to help them cope when events appear unduly threatening.

Joanne Cantor, Ph. D., Professor Emerita of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, has been conducting research on the effects of the mass media on children for more than 30 years. She has worked with the National PTA on projects related to TV ratings and media violence and has testified several times before the U.S. Congress. Following up on her parenting book "Mommy, I'm Scared": How TV and Movies Frighten Children and What We Can Do to Protect Them, she has just written a children's story book, Teddy's TV Troubles, to help parents and teachers help children cope with the disturbing images they encounter in the media. Visit her website for more information.

Helping Children Cope with Those Startling Images from Iraq

By Joanne Cantor, Ph.D.

Those shocking images of prisoner abuse and intense violence coming out of Iraq pose a new and continuing challenge for both parents and teachers. When is it appropriate to share these images with children, and when is it better to shield them? When children are confronted with these pictures, either by choice or by chance, how can we help them deal with their feelings and foster a healthy understanding of what they mean? Research on the impact of the media on children's physical and mental health can provide some guidance.

First and foremost, caution is strongly recommended. Many children are sensitive to disturbing media images, and the consequences often include repeated nightmares and other sleep disturbances, generalized anxieties, and lingering feelings of discomfort when engaging activities that would not normally seem threatening. These effects can be hard to undo. As with many things, age is an important determinant of the types of effects to be expected and the best ways of dealing with them.

For young children, approximately preschool through second grade, grotesque visual images can be overwhelming. Those emotion-evoking pictures will have a more profound effect than any background information that puts the images in context. Shielding young children from exposure to these images, if possible, will certainly be preferable to dealing with the aftermath. If children do see these images, what you say will not be as important as your attention and warmth, and they will appreciate it if you find a way to involve them in some other activities, like reading a book together or playing creatively. Drawing a picture of what was frightening and making it look less scary is one way of dealing with fears at this age.

Older elementary school children may also be disturbed by these images, and they may have specific questions about the pictures of prisoner abuse. It's fair to answer those questions while keeping in mind the types of explanations they are likely to be seeking. For example, if children ask why the soldiers are smiling and surrounding naked prisoners, they will not benefit from the details of exactly what happened, and this is not the time to teach them about sexual abuse and humiliation. Saying the soldiers went too far by using "embarrassment" in trying to get the prisoners to talk may suffice. If a child is still troubled that such a thing could happen, you can explain that now that these activities have been discovered, we are working to make sure they don't happen again. Ultimately, children will be turning to you for reassurance and would rather hear words of hope than a worst-case scenario.

Teenagers are likely to be torn between feelings of anxiety and intense curiosity. They may be concerned about what the war means for themselves in terms of personal safety, and they may begin to be worried about the possibility that the draft will be reinstated. They will be seeking answers to the question of "why?" and will also be searching for solutions. Some of them may be curious about watching the video of the beheading of Nicholas Berg. They need to be cautioned that such images can be devastating and that their effect on the psyche will be long-lasting. It is a challenge to keep discussions of these events truthful and age-appropriate while not leaving children with intense anxieties. Acknowledging that these are difficult times, while placing the events in the historical context of other difficult times may help.

Above all, parents and teachers serve children best by ensuring that they learn about the world in age-appropriate ways and by being there to help them cope when events appear unduly threatening.

Joanne Cantor, Ph. D., Professor Emerita of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, has been conducting research on the effects of the mass media on children for more than 30 years. She has worked with the National PTA on projects related to TV ratings and media violence and has testified several times before the U.S. Congress. Following up on her parenting book "Mommy, I'm Scared": How TV and Movies Frighten Children and What We Can Do to Protect Them, she has just written a children's story book, Teddy's TV Troubles, to help parents and teachers help children cope with the disturbing images they encounter in the media. Visit her website for more information.