PTA Parent - January 2010

• Shyness: Protective Armor or Social Barrier?
• How to Raise Grateful Kids
• January Safety Tip from Consumer Reports
• Take Part in PTA Take Your Family to School Week
• Wanted: Moms Who Have Made a Difference
• PTA Digest
• 100 Ways to Help Your Child and School Succeed

Shyness: Protective Armor or Social Barrier?

Seven strategies for helping your child overcome shyness

Everyone experiences shyness at one time or another. In children, some shyness is developmentally appropriate. But shyness can be an issue if it grows into a withdrawal from other people or social situations, a problem that shouldn't be ignored. The effects could follow a child into adulthood. Child therapist Dr. Andrea "Andie" Weiner, author of The Best Investment: Unlocking the Secrets of Social Success for Your Child, outlines social skill tactics for parents to use in helping children overcome their shyness.

Shyness is typically a temporary issue but parents shouldn't ignore it. Shyness can be very painful for a child to live with, Weiner says. Some of the side effects of shyness are: difficulty in making and sustaining friendships, trouble asserting oneself, being perceived as aloof and cold, difficulties in learning effective communication skills, and trouble in expressing emotions.

There is not one single reason why shyness develops in some children. One cause may be due to coping with new situations that may cause withdrawal. Some children are simply born with a more sensitive temperament and they need time to warm up to people. Another factor is inconsistent parenting that makes children feel insecure. Sometimes children model behavior from their shy parents who may not have many friends or social interests. No matter what the reasons are for a child's shyness, it is often not a difficult problem to correct. Here are some social skill strategies that a parent can employ to help with their child's shy behavior:

1. Expose children to many different people and social situations: Starting at a young age, parents should introduce their children to many different people, social situations, and activities like play groups. This helps young children get used to new social interactions in various settings giving them opportunities to interact with one another. Also, by getting the shy child involved in social activities, it counteracts their tendency to want to isolate themselves from others.
2. Practice modeling non-shy behaviors: Shy children can model others who express themselves emotionally in appropriate ways, interact well with others, and display socially appropriate skills such as introducing yourself to others and showing manners. If your child doesn't know how to do this, role-play shaking hands and introducing yourself. Make it a game.
3. Let go of the label "shy child" (and discourage others from using it): Children that are labeled as shy by their parents or others may feel that they have to live up to that expectation. If for some reason you feel that you must explain your child's bashfulness, just say, "Sometimes my son/daughter takes time to get used to new people and situations. Once he/she gets used to you, he'll/she'll feel like talking". Notice the words "shy" or "reserved" were not used.
4. Help shy children feel more capable by teaching them responsibility and independence: Too often shy children are too dependent on their parents or other significant people in their lives. This can create reluctance to take risks in making friends or getting involved in social situations. Give your child some responsibilities—like some chores that are challenging but are within the child's capabilities. Encourage them to make decisions. When kids feel important, that enhances their self-love for themselves.
5. Role-play social situations using social communication skills: When shy children feel more capable of knowing what to say in conversations during a social situation, they gain confidence to engage these behaviors in real life situations. Pretend you are the interviewer and "interview" your children about their favorite foods, and other things about them. Then switch roles and let your child interview you. You can move into more definitive role-playing like what to say when someone sits next to them on the bus.
6. Do not let shy children isolate themselves: Because shy children get uncomfortable around other people, they have a tendency to withdraw and spend time alone. Encourage shy children to partake in friendships and activities with others.
7. Don't speak for shy children: It's important for shy children to speak up for themselves and they will do it if they have a chance. If parents answer for their shy child, it not only reinforces shy behavior but also does not give the shy child opportunities to practice social communication skills.

For more information on Weiner, go to http://drandie.com/

How to Raise Grateful Kids

Tips for teaching children to appreciate what they have

Parenting magazine presents "in-the-moment" fixes as well as long-term strategies for teaching children to be more grateful, a life skill that will benefit them for years to come. (The Read More link takes you to parenting.com.)

Read More          

PTA Briefs

January Safety Tip from Consumer Reports

National PTA, in partnership with Consumer Reports and the National School Boards Association, has formed the School Safety Alert Program to notify parents, schools and educators of possible safety hazards in homes and schools.  Each month, the partnership will share an important safety tip to help keep your family safe.

Now is a great time to check the contents of your medicine cabinet. Be aware of recent recalls of various over-the-counter children's medicines—21 types of infants' and children's liquid Tylenol and about 700,000 packages of Vicks Dayquil Cold & Flu 24-Count Bonus Pack Liquicaps were recalled were recently recalled due to contamination and improper packaging. To find learn more about recalls go to consumerreports.org/schoolsafety.

You can also follow some additional safety tips such as:

1. Check expiration dates to be sure they haven't expired.
2. Be aware that child resistant caps are only about 90% effective for young children
3. Make sure no matter the age of your child you keep medicines out of reach.
4. Some people are allergic to the dyes in medicines.  If you suspect that is the case with your child, use the medications that are dye free.

Go to PTA.org/safetyalert for more information on the partnership to keep your children safe.

---

Take Part in PTA Take Your Family to School Week

Thirty-two PTA schools received awards of $1,897 for their PTA Take Your Family to School Week events. See the list of award winners.

Have coffee with teachers, lunch with the principal, or tea with your child. Celebrate your school's diversity at an international festival. Attend class with your child. Learn how to save money for college. Take part in family science projects, or enjoy reading together. Challenge other families in physical and mental contests. Get tips on supporting your child's success in school. Check out the school's art gallery.

These are just a few of the opportunities being offered parents and other family members during PTA Take Your Family to School Week, February 7–13.

Through this special week, PTAs across the nation are connecting families to their children's school experiences with unique, educational, fun activities. Find out what your school has planned and add it to your family calendar!

More than 30 years of research show that children do better in school when their parents are involved.

Learn more about PTA Take Your Family to School Week at PTA.org/FamilyToSchool.

---

Wanted: Moms Who Have Made a Difference

Parenting Magazine, a PTA partner, has launched a search for outstanding mom advocates from every state to attend the inaugural Mom Congress on Education and Learning conference in Washington, DC this May.  Applications are being sought for moms that have devoted countless hours of time at school board meetings, talked with teachers and other school officials to help make their schools as good as they can be, or who have fought tirelessly to protect their schools from budget cuts. Read on for more information.

Parenting will be selecting one outstanding advocate from every state and the District of Columbia to attend the conference from May 2 to 4, 2010.  Participants will receive round-trip airfare, a two-night hotel stay, and the opportunity to connect with other moms from across the country to share success stories, challenges, and concerns as they work to improve our nation's schools.  Parenting magazine launched the Mom Congress initiative in March 2009 to celebrate and connect moms fighting for better schools.  Each month, the School Years edition of Parenting gives readers the education news and resources they need to make a difference, and highlights one of 13,000+ Mom Congress members whose efforts have brought about positive change for students. To nominate yourself or a mom you know who has made a difference, visit Parenting.com/momcongress. The deadline for applications is March 15, 2010.

PTA Parent Digest

100 Ways to Help Your Child and School Succeed

There are many ways that you can help your child succeed! A few small activities each week will pay huge dividends over the course of the year.  Here are a few that you can do this week:

Help develop and distribute a volunteer directory to parents, school staff, and teachers. - Ayude a elaborar y distribuir un directorio de voluntarios para padres, personal de la escuela y docentes.

Volunteer your consulting services in your areas of expertise to school staff or educators. - Ofrézcase como voluntario para los servicios de asesoramiento en sus áreas de experiencia, destinados a docentes o personal de la escuela.