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By Alyssa Martina, publisher, Metro Parent Magazine
Mindfulness is having a heightened presence of mind. It means moment-to-moment awareness through paying attention, being intentional, focusing on the here and now. Applying mindfulness to parenting yields positive results for parent and child.
Engaging in "mindful parenting" can be one of the greatest gifts you can give to your family—and yourself. It allows for deeper, more meaningful connections with your children and relieves a lot of the stresses associated with parenting. Some tips:
- Focus your complete self on your child. Pay attention and force yourself to listen attentively. If you find your mind drifting, pause and bring your attention back to the present moment.
- Take a 10-minute break two to three times a day to write down your lists: groceries, things to do, people to call, and general reminders. Use these times to collect your thoughts about things that need to be done in the future, so they don't invade your time with your children.
Children often live in moment-to-moment experiences like exploring the backyard or splashing in the tub. Their expressions of awe, frustration, anger, sadness or sheer joy capture how they're feeling at any given moment.
As adults, we're often not as in touch with experiencing life in the moment. Most of us live our lives with thoughts drifting from the past to the future. When we're at home, we're thinking about what we need to do at work; when we're at work, we're thinking about our "things-to-do" list for when we get home.
What exactly does it mean to parent in the moment? Chances are that even when you are present with your children, your mind drifts. Over time, our children become very aware that just because we may be near them, we aren't necessarily mentally present and available.
Being a mindful parent means allowing a clear awareness of the present moment to guide your activities, communications, experiences and decisions as a parent. Mindful parenting, when practiced correctly, leads to calmer responses. Mindfulness in parenting ushers in a sense of control over how you will respond in any number of circumstances. It allows you to focus on the choices you have in responding to any given situation.
So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, pause for a few moments and focus on what surrounds you. Take a few slow deep breaths to allow yourself to give your full attention to the present. Then ask yourself, calmly, what is truly important at this moment. Of course, there are times when we need to be swift in our choices regarding our children, but whenever you can make calls out of a deep awareness of the situation, you are going to be acting with clarity and purpose, rather than through reactions, rigidity or the need to control. That's mindful parenting.
Here are some ways that you can work on incorporating mindfulness into your parenting style:
- Give your attention to everything that is before you. Soak in the surroundings of the moment, trying to take in every detail.
- Catch yourself when you find that you are not really listening or paying attention. Bring your attention back to the moment at hand. Remember that your attentive listening provides a signal that you value their ideas and feelings.
- When your child is playing, be a quiet observer. Quietly describe what he or she is doing.
- Spend a few moments watching your children sleep. Take that time to reflect on the moment and the peace that surrounds them.
- Notice the small changes in your children—how their voices have grown deeper or how their fingers have become thinner as they mature into adulthood. Give special thought to how they're developing at this precise moment.
- The greatest gift you can give your children is your time and attention, so practice mindfulness to provide the very best within yourself.
Alyssa Martina is founder, president and publisher of Metro Parent Magazine. You can reach her at amartina@metroparent.com.
Summer vacation, with its camp activities and summer sports, sounds idyllic to most of us. And who wouldn't want seemingly endless hours to spend with friends? But as the school year comes to an end, take some time to talk to your kids about staying safer so you can be sure the summer memories are happy ones.
Consider these tips for adjusting to a summer schedule:
- New activities may mean the start of new friendships. Just as you do during the school year, get to know your children's friends and be on the lookout for possible bullies or someone who might lead your kids to experiment with drugs or alcohol.
- If the summer schedule means a change in your day-care routine, make sure your kids still know what to do in an emergency and how to contact a trusted adult.
- You might decide to relax your rules about the amount of time your kids can watch TV or play video games, but still do your homework to make sure the shows and games are age-appropriate.
Visit PTA.org's new "Child Safety Events: How to Get Involved" page for resources on a variety of important safety topics. Learn how to take action on the topics most relevant to your family.
Show Your Support—Submit an 'I am PTA' Video or Essay
Help PTA show the world what a dynamic, diverse and inclusive organization you belong to. You can get in on this exciting new project by submitting an "I am PTA" video or essay. Your entry could be used in a video montage shown at the 2009 national convention or in any of PTA's print or online media.
Here's how to participate: Using the theme "I am PTA," record why you think you represent the vibrant and inclusive organization that is PTA. You may record a short video (20 seconds or less), write a short essay (200 words maximum) or read an audio essay (20 seconds or less).
If you create a video, post it on YouTube (youtube.com) and send the URL to parent@pta.org along with your name, PTA affiliation, e-mail address and phone number. If you write an essay, e-mail it as a Word document to parent@pta.org (and also include contact information). Please put I am PTA in the subject line of your e-mail.
Videos and essays must be submitted by June 1, 2009 to be considered for the convention broadcast.
Next Week Is Teacher Appreciation Week!
A simple thank-you goes a long way in making teachers feel valued. Thank your kids' teachers during PTA Teacher Appreciation Week, May 3-9, and you'll help build a stronger family-teacher partnership. Participate in the teacher appreciation activities planned by your school and PTA, and create your own expressions of thanks with your kids. For ideas, go to PTA.org/teachers.
Be sure to check out these interactive teacher appreciation tools:
Here's just one creative example of a student celebrating teachers: "An Influential Language" by Elizabeth Breazile - Breazile, a high school student, won the 2007-2008 PTA Reflections Program Outstanding Interpretation Award in the Film/Video Production category. The Reflections Program theme for 2007-2008 was "I Can Make a Difference by…"
Shop for Teacher Appreciation Week Gifts at the PTA Store
Purchase Teacher Appreciation Week gifts at the PTA Store and receive a special discount.
During May 3 - May 9, when you order 18 or more of any same item at the PTA Store, you will receive a 12% discount on that item.
To receive your discount, in the "Special Instructions" box of your shopping cart type in "Teacher Appreciation Week." The discount will not automatically appear in the shopping cart, but it will be reflected on your invoice. Visit the PTA Store.
Guiding Your Family's Media and Technology Use: All Six Tip Sheets Now Available!
Our families can benefit from responsible use of the Internet, cell phones, and video games. And who doesn't have a favorite song, movie, or TV show—maybe even one that you share as a family. But it's important to remember that all types of media influence us, and not everything is appropriate for all ages. Plus, while cell phones and the Internet may make communication easier, they can also blur the lines of what is acceptable.
Since January, PTA has introduced six one-page tip sheets on responsible media and technology use for families:
If you haven't already, set aside some time to take a look at the information and discuss it with your kids. Then, consider establishing a media use contract with each of your children. Set appropriate rules and limits for each child. Be explicit about how you intend to monitor for compliance and what the consequences will be if a contract is broken. Once the contracts have been signed, post them in a prominent place as a reminder.
For more information and ideas, visit the Media Safety page at PTA.org.
There are many ways that you can help your child succeed! A few small activities each week will pay huge dividends over the course of the year. Here are a few that you can do this week:
Coordinate and participate in evening and weekend volunteer activities at school.
Coordine y participe en actividades que se llevan a cabo en la escuela durante la tarde y los fines de semana.
Attend training and orientation on how to be an effective volunteer.
Brinde asistencia a la capacitación y orientación sobre cómo ser un voluntario eficaz.
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